Teen helps others through podcast

Krisjay Sigurdson relates his experiences on a podcast he started in high school. Photos submitted

By Tom Victoria

Krisjay Sigurdson draws upon his life experiences to help others get through tough times.

The Canadian teen hosts a podcast catering to those who can face even more obstacles than their peers — the LGBTQ+ community.

Krisjay, 18, hosts Diaries of a Homosexual, which has listeners across the globe, including Europe, Asia and America.

“It’s really cool now that other people have been able to relate to a lot of my personal stories and experiences,” he said. “It’s very much a culmination of events and things that are still happening. It’s very much still unfolding. I like to think of it as a show because I will experience things and a week or two weeks later, I’ll talk about everything I experience and learned on the podcast episode. It’s very much a form of storytelling for me.”

Krisjay’s podcast topics includes dating.

Krisjay’s topics include how to come out to family, dealing with relationships and dating.

“I find it so fascinating how people’s different experiences, their traits interact with each other,” he said. “And how people can learn and grow in relationships. They can go from hating each other to best of friends. They’re so many different scenarios that I always had issues with, but I would learn from by going through those scenarios. I just wanted to talk about my journey. I take a scenario I went through and in the moment, it was really hard and I didn’t know what to do. I eventually figured it out.”

Many of Krisjay’s listeners have questions and comments on being open about orientation.

“It’s a lot coming out,” he said. “Things like how do I come out to my parents, how do I navigate coming out, I’m scared to come out, do you have any tips. It’s a lot of people who feel like they can’t be themselves and they need advice. Get that because I was exactly the same way.”

Krisjay recalled Googling coming out advice when he realized he was gay.

“There’s no right way or wrong way to do it,” he said. “I think that’s tricky because you want to be authentic to yourself, but there’s no rule book on this is how you come out. You don’t know how to do it and also don’t want to lose the life you have. You don’t want to lose your friends, your family to not like you. Those may be irrational fears. They could be totally rational as well.”

Krisjay always cautions those requesting coming out advice.

“I always tell them to be safe,” he said. “Every personal situation is so different. I do not know this person’s parents. I do not know this person’s friends. I would say, generally, you know the people in your life the best. If you think you would be putting yourself in an unsafe situation by coming out, then wait.”

Krisjay said that strategy also applies if a person believes he or she would be left homeless without food by coming out.

“If your fear is losing a couple friends, they probably aren’t worth it anyways,” he said.

Some of his listeners have significant safety concerns.

“We also had a few people who have said they are in countries where they could be killed or arrested for coming out,” he said. “That is really scary to them. I tell them: first, be safe. It’s better you’re alive than out.”

Krisjay advised those wanting to come out to be certain about the person being told.

“A lot of people, they’ll tell someone they’re gay or come out to someone and then they get outed,” he said. “That is really traumatic.”

Krisjay said that not only the individual being told must be trusted, but that person’s circle of confidants as well.

He stressed the first step in coming out is not being ashamed.

“The biggest thing is you need to accept yourself first,” Krisjay said.       

He said coming out often results in feeling alone.

“It can be really lonely,” Krisjay said. “Loneliness is something a lot of people struggle with after coming out.”

However, he said don’t be surprised if some peers are in the same boat. After Krisjay came out, a number of his friends did as well.

“I unknowingly surrounded myself with queer people, which was like so cool,” Krisjay said.

He pointed out how sports can become a negative environment for gay students.

“Those can be really toxic places,” he said. “It’s not even in the sport, but its locker room. That is really scary. Changing for gym classs in the men’s locker room especially if people suspect or know you’re gay. That can really ruin the experience for you. I have experienced that and it’s awful.”

Krisjay switched high schools as a junior because he didn’t feel secure attending the private all-boys school.

“It wasn’t a safe environment for me,” he said.

Unlike sports such as football, rowing was not toxic, according to Krisjay.

“It was such an accepting sport,” he said. “Everyone was so nice there.”

Krisjay started the podcast when he was 16.

“I was working in a warehouse moving boxes,” he said. “Not my ideal work. I’m not a laborer. I do not have massive muscles for that.”

Krisjay was listening to a podcast when the host was saying people think it’s easy to be a podcaster and dared such people to start their own.

“I don’t know why, but it clicked in my head and I was like I should do that,” he said. “It could have been a passing thought, but I wrote it down. I went home and fell down a YouTube rabbit hole”

Not being a regular listener to podcasts, Krisjay pored over videos about how to start a podcast.

“I saved up and used a first paycheck to to buy some equipment off Amazon and I just started a week later,” he said. “My first ever episode is called Solving All Your Relationship Issues.”

Krisjay initially didn’t know what he would discuss.

“I remembered that my friends always came to about dating advice, relationship advice,” he said. “I’m very much into dating reality shows.”

Krisjay also is intrigued by the dynamics of relationships, whether it’s significant others, friends or family.

“That’s what I wanted to talk about,” he said. “I wrote down a few issues and relationships. I just talked about it. I asked my friends for some questions.”

Krisjay said it took 10 months before his audience started to grow.

“It’s definitely grown quite a bit,” he said. “Most of the people who listen to my podcast are Americans. A substantial amount are Canadians.”

Krisjay said significant portions of his audience are in the United Kingdom, Germany and South Korea.

“Love that,” he said.

Krisjay said there isn’t anything about himself that is restricted from discussion.

“I feel like I’m an open book,” he said. “In terms of my own life, I don’t really feel anything is off limits.”

Doing the podcast led Krisjay to switch from majoring in science to business.

“I’d love to start my own business,” he said. “Help other people start their own businesses.”

Krisjay’s audience helps him stay motivated.

“The messages I get from people are the biggest things that keep me going,” he said. “It truly means a lot to me.”

Krisjay dispensed advice to budding podcasters.

“Do your research,” he said. “Go on YouTube. My biggest advice is just start. You don’t need fancy equipment. If you have a phone, that’s good enough. Just start. You’ll get better.”

Krisjay said the title of his podcast is literal.

“I don’t write things down in my journal,” he said. “I have my podcast. It’s basically my diary. It’s almost therapeutic.”

Krisjay hopes his listeners benefit from his podcast.

“You’re hearing as my life unfolds. Hopefully, it helps you solve the current situation you’re in. I want to connect with people.”

Krisjay’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/krisjayallan/

Krisjay’s YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCqD4mKgDbMMU5W8nWqY1eqQ

Krisjay’s website: https://diariesofahomosexual.wordpress.com/